Well I basically haven't written in a month and a half. Hard to believe its been that long. I've been counting down the days til Daniel comes home. We are down to 3 days and I am excited, nervous, anxious, and tired. Excited because...well obvious reasons of not seeing him for the last 3 months and all that that encompasses. Nervous because I wonder how the twins will react to him. Will they be excited, mad, or even worse...just indifferent because its been so long that they "got use to him not around". Anxious because it's been so long and also because of all the feelings that comes with him coming home but only for 11 days. It's almost like going through the 12 step program or something. Denial that he's here. Angry that he has to leave again. Scared he could get hurt...more. Happy to have him home. Tired from preparation to him being here and all we are going to try to 'cram' in while he is here. blah, blah, blah. But I have been so tired of doing this without him and sad that he will only be here for so short a time. But...I wouldn't trade these 11 days for anything in the world. I can't wait to hold him in my arms again or to see him holding his girls. To watch them do their favorite activity with dad, snuggling and watching a movie. I am really excited to have him here for christmas. It's hard to imagine christmas without him and glad he doesn't have to spend it alone. What will this next here have in store? We could live anywhere and Daniel could be doing who knows what for a job. I wonder where my girls will go to school and who their teachers will be? When will the twins be able to go to school again and when will I ever have free time again? What will our home look like? Will I be able to run, hike, climb anything? How will I expend my energy and keep close to nature? I'm going to miss the mountains and the clean air of Utah. I will miss Daniel's family. I will miss my friends I have made here. But I love new adventures with new scenery and a new place. I hope it will be somewhere that I find good people, happiness, and a deeper understanding of life!