Wednesday, December 17, 2008
3 more days
Well I basically haven't written in a month and a half. Hard to believe its been that long. I've been counting down the days til Daniel comes home. We are down to 3 days and I am excited, nervous, anxious, and tired. Excited because...well obvious reasons of not seeing him for the last 3 months and all that that encompasses. Nervous because I wonder how the twins will react to him. Will they be excited, mad, or even worse...just indifferent because its been so long that they "got use to him not around". Anxious because it's been so long and also because of all the feelings that comes with him coming home but only for 11 days. It's almost like going through the 12 step program or something. Denial that he's here. Angry that he has to leave again. Scared he could get hurt...more. Happy to have him home. Tired from preparation to him being here and all we are going to try to 'cram' in while he is here. blah, blah, blah. But I have been so tired of doing this without him and sad that he will only be here for so short a time. But...I wouldn't trade these 11 days for anything in the world. I can't wait to hold him in my arms again or to see him holding his girls. To watch them do their favorite activity with dad, snuggling and watching a movie. I am really excited to have him here for christmas. It's hard to imagine christmas without him and glad he doesn't have to spend it alone. What will this next here have in store? We could live anywhere and Daniel could be doing who knows what for a job. I wonder where my girls will go to school and who their teachers will be? When will the twins be able to go to school again and when will I ever have free time again? What will our home look like? Will I be able to run, hike, climb anything? How will I expend my energy and keep close to nature? I'm going to miss the mountains and the clean air of Utah. I will miss Daniel's family. I will miss my friends I have made here. But I love new adventures with new scenery and a new place. I hope it will be somewhere that I find good people, happiness, and a deeper understanding of life!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Congratulations and commiseration. My life is no where near as up in the air as yours, but I can relate a little. Ben spent four weeks in Virginia, was home for one week, then in Japan for eight days. He's home now through the holidays, but will leave in January for four months in Japan. It definitely makes for an emotional roller coaster. (Though unlike you, I don't have to worry that he'll be sent to war, so I really do sympathize with you.) I hope you all have the best eleven days ever!
Wow Pam. You definitely have sympathy rights. It's always hard when they are gone. Good thing you are so strong yourself. Too bad we can't be lonely together. It's sometimes nice to have someone else to talk with who understands. I will definitely enjoy though. Thanks!
I know if anyone can hang in there, you can! I've always been impressed with what a strong woman you are!!
Side note: clean Utah air??? No inversions yet this season? :)
Cristy you are so brave! Change makes me have IBS! :) I am such an OCD planner that I couldn't stand the unknown!
It was so good to see Daniel on Sunday, we have wanted to come say Hi but at the same time didn't want to take away from your precious family time.
I am being selfish and wish you could stay here (of course only if Daniel could too!) we will miss you so much.
Hang in there, and let me know what I can do to help you!
Love ya,
April
Post a Comment