So it's been a bit tough since Daniel left for training. I have been struggling to decide how I want to spend my time until he returns. Plus, I want to take advantage of living in Utah as much as possible before we have to move. I have been venturing into hiking. I love, love, love it so much. The smells up there...except for these particular bushes that all smell like wet dog. But other than that, it's amazing. It's vigorous enough of an exercise that I can feel it in my body when I am done. The view when I get to the top is amazing. I would go up there everyday if I had the opportunity. So I settle for once or twice a week. This picture was a nice one. I had fun taking pictures of my shadow chillin' on a rock. that was fun.
Another way I have been occupying my time is by reading. I posted my own "review" of the book I read a couple of days ago. Yesterday, I read an Anita Stansfield book called Timeless Waltz. It was so refreshing after Don't Cry Wolf. This was so super spiritual, romantic, and just enough drama to be realistic with life's challenges but not so much that you feel like there is always one tragety after another. I realize when you are writing that you have to keep a readers interest. And having different obstacles to overcome are necessary but when it's one after another after another, it makes me wonder when it will ever end. When I look at my life, there are definite times when I feel like there is a cluster of bad things that happen at once and there are times when it's the same for things that are good or some may say rewards for perseverence. But it seems like in so many books, there is just one terrible thing after another that its just so hard to recover from.
So back to Timeless Waltz...It was love at first sight for Jane and Alex. Jane was active in the LDS church and Alex had been inactive for a number of years. But there was an incredible magnetic burning of love between them that neither could deny. Jane knew it was not just physical but also spiritual and it was the first time that Alex really started to believe in destiny and a greater purpose in life. Jane was super patient and waited around for Alex for 4 years to hopefully be ready and worthy to first, start attending church again and second, be married in the temple. He wanted so much to be worthy of her. It was amazing to me to experience the inner turmoil Alex had with his testimony. It seemed there were so many 'seeds' planted along the way that led him to who he became. Such an eye opener to see how many members who grow up in the church must experience. At some point, you have to search and ponder for yourself about what you are taught and decide if what you grew up believing really was true. I think most everyone goes threw that. But it was so easy for me to realize that it was more natural to believe there is a higher spiritual being up there than to believe there's not.
I think I especially loved it because being a convert to the church, the experience of being a part of this marvelous church is so different than those who grow up in the church. It took me about a hour to know the church was true and a lifetime to learn and understand those truths. And my testimony of the gospel grows stronger with the more I learn. I wasn't taught those truths growing up but they are so much a part of me and I was so grateful when I found them. I am also so grateful to raise my children in the gospel and be able to teach them as I am learning. It will probably be harder for me to watch them grow in the church because it will always be completely different for them than for me. But I hope that they will love those same truths in a way that is similar to how I love them.
I have always felt like a 'seed planter'. I've never really gotten to see the fruits of my labors. I am more ok with that than I use to be. It was such a hardship for me to work with missionaries for months with investigators to feel like you end up nowhere. To sit there and know when someone is searching for truth but can't comprehend that there is any spiritual basis but to want to see and feel it. I had that experience once with an amazing asian lady. She was probably in her early 40's at the time. she lived in my apartment complex. I would take walks around the complex with lexie when she was an infant. And this wonderful lady would also walk there often and we would get to chatting every few days or so. I invited her to my home a couple of times for company. After 2 or 3 times of her asking what was different in my home and why it felt so good to be there, I decided to tell her. It was so awesome to share my testimony with her. She wanted to know more. So the sister missionaries and I would come to her house about every other day for weeks and teach her. it probably took a month to help her even understand how the earth was created. Then another month of teaching her about Jesus Christ. Part of our struggle in teaching her was she couldn't read english. She read in Mandarin I believe. The missionaries were able to get her a mandarin BoM but she just never could retain any information for more than a day. I felt so heartbroken for her and her family. I wanted so much for her to know and feel what was in my heart and mind. But it didn't happen. I felt like I had done something wrong.
Several years later, I came to understand that it doesn't necessarily matter the decision they make. It matters that I do my part and share the gospel with those whom I come in contact with and live the example of my Savior the best I can. I can't remember that sweet lady's name but she will forever be in my memory and in my heart. I've learned so much from that experience with her. That has to count for something. Maybe there were seeds planted. Maybe someday she will have the opportunity to learn again and then maybe she will understand. Either way, I am grateful for the time I shared with her. I'm grateful for the opportunity to plant seeds in the hearts of others whether I get to see them grow or not.
So besides there being dance and a love story in the book, I really loved to read about the growing of someone's testimony and also watching the virtuous woman jane was and in the seeds she planted. I highly recommend this book to anyone. It seems like a mooshy love story but it was so much more.
